Reclaiming Our Belonging in a Dysregulated World

a manifesto written by Erringer Helbling

The Universal Search

No matter who you are in this world, you are looking for one fundamental thing: belonging.

In the society we live in today, belonging has become tied to making a living. We know we have to hustle to survive in the system we were born into. We know we have to work long and hard. But somewhere deep down, we also need to believe that our work has a purpose, whether professional, personal, or community-oriented.

Why do we do what we do, other than to survive?

We want to do good. We want to do something we are proud of. But before we can even think about purpose, we have to make our means.

The Awakening and The Contrast

For me, the logical answer at 17 was the military. As a girl who grew up in the Main Line suburbs of Philadelphia, it was a daunting leap. On face value, I wasn't the ideal candidate. I failed my first physical fitness test. I could barely survive the first couple of days of basic training. But I had persistence, and I was stepping into a world where community, health, and performance were interconnected. Your physical and mental readiness were built into the system. It was a priority because it had to be.

Fast forward to graduating, leaving the military, and entering the civilian professional world. I experienced an intense culture shock. Suddenly, holistic health was no longer a structural priority. I was working long hours at SpaceX, trapped in a "work hard, play hard" culture, trying to prove myself so I wouldn’t ever have to worry about making ends meet.

And I got completely lost.

I was living in Southern California, surrounded by the modern illusion of wellness. Every block had a yoga studio, an açaí bowl, a smoothie shop, and anything else you can imagine in the South Bay. I would walk along the beach and see people running or surfing. On the surface, there was no excuse not to be healthy. I’d do yoga classes, I joined a gym, I’d drink smoothies and take supplements. But underneath it all, the reality was stark: I gained 20 pounds. I was exhausted. I was doing all the aesthetic things that looked like wellness, but I was extremely unregulated.

The Great Disconnect: How we lost our belonging

I wasn't just struggling with my own schedule; I was colliding with a societal shift that has been decades in the making. We didn't get this exhausted by accident.

If we look back, the structure of our society used to have built-in margins for human connection. But as the cost of living skyrocketed, we changed how we fundamentally lived. When households transitioned from single-income to dual-income, with adults working 40+ hours a week just to maintain a baseline, the "free time" that used to sustain neighborhoods vanished.

We outsourced our village to convenience. Instead of knocking on a neighbor’s door to ask for a stick of butter or some eggs, an act that inherently builds micro-connections, vulnerability, and trust, we open our phones and order Instacart. We pay a premium to avoid the interactions that used to ground us.

The Ramifications for Young Professionals

This independence powered by technology and brought on by the change in our industrial complex has a cost, and it will only get more prominent with the rise of artificial intelligence.

The U.S. Surgeon General recently declared loneliness a public health epidemic, noting that a lack of social connection carries the same risk of premature death as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Here is the surprising thing: It is not the elderly who are the most isolated. The highest rates of loneliness in America belong to young adults and professionals.

  • According to the American Time Use Survey (ATUS), young Americans spent 45% more time alone in 2023 than they did just 15 years ago. Young professionals have gone from spending four hours alone per day to an average of six hours alone per day.

  • Meanwhile, our time spent socializing in person with friends has plummeted. Harvard researchers found that 81% of adults who feel lonely also suffer from anxiety or depression.

A $15 smoothie does not replace a neighbor. A solo run on the beach does not replace a support system. We are living in a disjointed world where we are "connected" by technology, but physically overworked, isolated, and chronically dysregulated.

The Neurowellness Revolution

We are not the only ones waking up to this reality. The era of performative self-care is ending, and the market proves it.

According to the Global Wellness Summit, "Neurowellness" and nervous system regulation are officially the most critical frontiers in global health. For years, wellness was about "biohacking" and optimizing ourselves to push harder at work. Now, people are realizing that their biggest health bottleneck is a nervous system stuck in chronic fight-or-flight.

Furthermore, social wellness clubs are currently the fastest-growing segment of the $6.3 trillion global wellness economy, expanding at over 18% annually. Young professionals are voting with their time and money, abandoning traditional gyms and superficial wellness apps in search of physical spaces that offer actual human connection and physiological recovery. 

We are starved for the village we lost.

The Demati Solution: Our Built-In Village

We cannot go back in time, and we cannot afford to wait for the corporate system to hand us our health back. We have to intentionally recreate the spaces we’ve lost. This is why Demati is a survival imperative. Demati is the creation of the village, or as I like to say, the belonging, we no longer have built into our neighborhoods. It started with the foundation of breath and movement, and has grown into something more than that.

It rests on four pillars, brought to life through real and consistent practice:

  • We move beyond aesthetic wellness to actively repair our nervous systems. We provide Monday and Friday live virtual meditations that meet you exactly where you are, whether you are commuting, sipping coffee, rolling out of bed, or bracing for your first meeting. We also offer all-levels accessible breath and movement yoga classes in inspiring spaces throughout the city.

  • We replace transactional living with supportive and trusted spaces in partnership with small businesses in our community. After our accessible breath and movement sessions, we hold a "Tea + Social" hour. We actively recruit individuals who believe in warmth and connection so that when you walk into our space, you never feel alone. This is the modern equivalent of sharing eggs with a neighbor; it is engaging with others only after we have grounded and regulated ourselves.

  • We refuse to let each other slip into the void of burnout. We hold you accountable to your well-being with an app system designed by a dual-degreed systems engineer. It is built to cut through the excuses and ensure you actually show up for yourself.

  • We stop the performative hustle long enough to ask the hardest question: What do I actually need to feel whole? But true connection inevitably leads to transformation. 

    Since our beginnings in 2024, we’ve watched our community and team evolve. When you arrive regulated, places transform for you. The Jefferson Memorial at sunrise ceases to be just a monument and becomes a grounding anchor; your Mindspace coworking desk shifts from a site of frantic hustle to a space of intentional focus.

    Through curated workshops exploring our relationships with our bodies, our homes, and our clothing, we learn how our inner transformation redefines how we step out into the world, or invite people into ours.

The Call to Action

You shouldn't have to join the military to find a culture that prioritizes your performance and health. And you shouldn't have to sacrifice your mind, body, and community just to make a living in the civilian world.

Demati is the bridge. It is how we create a sustainable future for professionals who want to do meaningful work without destroying themselves in the process.

It is time to step away from the illusion of wellness and the isolation of convenience and find belonging.

Sources & Data References

  • Deloitte (2024): Gen Z and Millennial Survey. Data concerning workplace stress, hours, and purpose-driven work among young professionals.

  • U.S. Surgeon General (2023): Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. Advisory report detailing the mortality risks of social isolation and the decline of community infrastructure.

  • U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics: American Time Use Survey (ATUS). Statistics reflecting the 45% increase in time spent alone among young adults over the last 15 years.

  • Harvard Graduate School of Education (2021/2023): Loneliness in America: How the Pandemic Has Deepened an Epidemic of Loneliness. Report detailing the 81% correlation between loneliness and anxiety/depression in young adults.

  • Global Wellness Institute (GWI): Research on the $6.3 trillion global wellness economy and the rapid 18%+ annual growth of social wellness clubs.

  • Global Wellness Summit: Annual Trends Report identifying "Neurowellness" and nervous system regulation as the leading frontiers in health and wellness.